


not my own

by rowanshand



Category: Pitch (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 07:52:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8524867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rowanshand/pseuds/rowanshand
Summary: Her voice shakes and her eyes don’t match his. The strap of her gym bag is draped over her shoulder and her fingertips pick at the hem of her shirt, enlightening Mike to her uneasiness."Was baseball your dream?" It's after a loss against the Braves that she asks.





	

They play the Braves and lose every game of the series. Ginny starts the final game and they loss by six runs. In the third inning, she gives up a grand slam and is pulled from the mound just one out later. Her performance was less than ideal, disappointing herself, the team, and their fans all the same. Mike hates when Ginny struggles. He never stops thinking he should have done more to help.  

Walking out of the visiting team's locker room, Lawson turns the corner to see her standing there, her back firm against the cinderblock wall. Her hair is still wet from the shower he assumes she took, dripping slightly onto her shoulders now, making her look like a defeated dog that couldn't please their owner.

"Was baseball your dream?” Her voice shakes and her eyes don’t match his. The strap of her gym bag is draped over her shoulder and her fingertips pick at the hem of her shirt, enlightening Mike to her uneasiness.

He sighs, knowing this is not a moment for his typically sarcastic comment or inappropriate behavior. Contrary to what some might think, Mike isn’t a total asshole.

But he’s treading water here; with Ginny, it's all so fucking complicated. They are…well, Mike isn't sure how to finish that sentence. The dynamic they have going on continues to confuse the hell out of me. Where she's badass and beautiful and damn impressive and he pretends not to notice. Luckily, Ginny speaks again before the silence they exist in lasts too long.

"Baseball. This game? This lifestyle?” Finally, Baker looks up at him and Mike’s heart stops. She looks sad and tired and lost, largely unlike herself. That or she’s just gotten really good at hiding things. He's not sure which he would prefer. "Was it always the dream?” She repeats her question, though she whispers it this time before taking a second to scan the expansive hallway they stand in, checking to make sure no one had overheard her wondering, as though she might be breaking some kind of unwritten baseball code.

Mike clears his throat. He’s not really sure where to start. He wonders what she wants to hear. 

He shrugs, trying to appear genuinely unsure. "I mean, I don't know.” Deep down, Mike knows she doesn’t need protection, that is she fully capable of most things. She's not interested in being sheltered or hidden from certain truths. Ginny cocks her head to the side, her expression tight, clearly not buying into the false sense of sensitivity he's showing. It’s not usual for him, he’ll give her that. "I think so.” Mike sighs, tells the truth and runs his palm over his beard. He’s nervous and hopes to hide it. Soon, his hands end up in his pant pockets; he’s not too sure what to do with them. “All I ever wanted to be was a pro ball player. I wanted the All-star games and the posters and to win a goddamn championship.” He gives it to her straight and Baker appreciates it. Mike can tell.  

She shakes her head. “I don’t think it was the same for me.” There's conviction in her voice that wasn't there before and Mike is glad. Her expression hasn't changed though. Even though she is looking away from him now, he can still recognize her sadness. “It’s not my dream. It never was.” Ginny may have said this aloud, but she's definitely not talking to him. “I’ve never gotten to have a dream of my own.” This statement gets stuck in the back of her throat as she fights to hold on to her composure. 

Mike moves to stand at her side, a comforting gesture he's not sure she'll accept. He drops his bag to the floor and crosses his arms over his chest. She looks so pained and it’s messing with Mike's ability to think. “You’re only twenty-three.” Most days, he does all he can to forget that fact. "You've still got time for one." It’s the best Mike can come up with. He’s never been good at this sort of thing. 

Ginny exhales heavily as he foot taps against the floor and the sound of it echoes around them; it sends chills down Mike’s back. “It’s not that easy.” Ginny's confesses stills the air in his lungs. Her voice cracks and Mike understands.

This is something he has known since they first met, since Baker's first day as a major-leaguer. Being a ball-player doesn't mean the same thing to her as it does to him.. Though she is entirely capable of handling the pressure and expectations of the monumental place she holds in the history of sports, Ginny Baker shouldn't have to do it alone.


End file.
